“We love because He first loved us.”

—1 John 4:19

A woman was married to a man who was a walking rule. He was a good provider, but to make sure that his wife fulfilled all her obligations the man drew up for her a set of rules. His list of do’s and don’ts included when she should get up in the morning, when to serve his breakfast and what household chores she should do before he came back from work. Many years later this man died.

With time this woman met another man who was a good provider too, but he was not controlling. Soon they were married. Her new husband did not give her a list of do’s and don’ts. He simply showered her with gestures of love and words of praise and compliments for everything she did. One day while cleaning the house, the woman found the old list of do’s and don’ts that her former husband had made for her. Going through the list, she discovered that she has been doing those things and more for her new husband even though he did not give her any rules. More importantly, she had been doing them happily and without stress.

This goes to show there are two ways of meeting our obligations to one another. One is by following rules; the other is by love. The woman caught in adultery in John’s Gospel, chapter eight, broke the rules, and according to the law she was to be stoned to death. But, Jesus offered another rule and that was love. He forgave the woman, set her free from the bondage of sin, and simply told her: “Go and sin no more.”

According the Mosaic law of the Old Testament the best way to secure justice was by the law. Jesus, on the other hand, gives a different answer. The best way to fulfill justice is by love. There is only one law, says St. Paul, and that is to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8).

Many Christians see love as an option rather than a gift they need to share with each other. It is not something we may choose to do or not to do. Of course, we are free to love anyone we choose as far as natural and intimate relationships are concerned. But that is a different kind of love; it is the love between the sexes and among family members. The love of the Christian, called Agape, is God’s gift to us from on high. God sent this love down to us through His Son, Jesus, the fullness of this kind of love ( John 3 : 16 ). It is not something we earn or merit because it is a gift we respond to, gratefully, and pass along by example.

How often people make excuses for their actions when they feel they don’t owe somebody anything. We hear this, for example, when a beggar or someone in need asks for help, or when a needy person is dismissed with the angry remark, “Stop bugging me.” Of course, we do not owe them in the legal sense, but we do indeed need to love them in the way that Jesus loves us.

Many of today’s Christians suffer from a serious lack of awareness when it comes to their obligations to their fellow man. When they hear that a country is devastated by drought and famine, do they feel they need to help them? When they hear that AIDS is wiping out generations of young people in certain countries, do they feel they need to do something about this? The legally minded will say, “No, we don’t.” Jesus says, “yes, we do,” and wants us to show our love towards all our brothers and sisters.

Jesus entered our world to show us His perfect love. May this kind of love fill your heart with the joy of giving, and with the joy of seeing Christ in the least of your brothers and sisters.

—Fr.. Hugh Duffy