“Lord, If my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.”

Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18:21

Have you ever noticed that the closer we live to other people the more we sometimes hurt them? We live closer to our families than anyone; yet we can hurt them more than anyone else. Next to family are our immediate neighbors and then our fellow workers. Not only are we inclined to hurt all these people, they , in turn, are prone to hurt us. A hurt from someone close destroys confidence and trust.

Today’s scripture is about what we should do whenever we get hurt. We are told about forgiveness: the greatest and the most difficult of challenges. Unless we forgive, God will not be able to forgive us. It is that simple. Ask yourself: Whom do I need to forgive?

Most problems with people are not one-sided. Usually, there is hurt on both sides. One person might want to forgive but the other person might not want to be reconciled. What do you do then? Well, you can go to confession and receive God’s forgiveness, thus putting reconciliation with your neighbor in escrow, as it were, until your former friend is ready to receive it. God makes this possible. His forgiveness is ever ready to slip into our hearts as soon as we are ready to receive it. No one can do more than God. If you have forgiven from your heart, be at peace. When others are ready to be forgiven, the rupture will be mended, and reconciliation will take place. Until then, know that you have done all you can, just as God Himself can do no more.

There is an interesting expression, “nursing a grudge.” Think of what that means. A grudge is a negative emotion that is about to die but we will not let it. By nursing a grudge, we become a prisoner to a toxic emotion, be it jealousy or anger; protecting it, loving it, coddling it, giving it every bad medication we can find to keep it alive. Common sense should tell us that this is only a waste of time and energy for it damages us, and prevents us from enjoying life, and growing in the love of God.

God offers us the grace of forgiveness and reconciliation. It would be foolish to refuse such a life-empowering gift. In the Lord’s prayer, we say: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespasses against us.” (Matthew 6:12). We have all sinned, and we are all in need of forgiveness. Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins; He offered His life so that we might have life by forgiving one another, “not seven times but seventy-seven times.” By this is meant: we must forgive one another unconditionally.

Fr. Hugh Duffy

* * * DO NOT MISS TOMORROW’S BLOG ON CONFESSION * * *